Wealth and Relationships

My Father (who has now passed away) was a CPA and financial/tax advisor. He loved numbers, and saving money. My Mother (who is living and doing great) loves to spend money. She thought more about “today”. My Dad thought more about “tomorrow”. If they took any money compatibility profiles as a couple, I am sure they would have wound up on different sides completely! Unfortunately, through their money differences, they saw the world with completely different perspectives and I am sure you know what happened next.

As a behavioral scientist who focuses on finance, I have seen differences in personalities create huge synergies. Two people with large differences can find their way to complement each other and do great things.

I have also financial differences in money types destroy relationships.

If you don’t have a partner yet, think about money compatibility as closely as you do social, religious, and family values. How much of a fit are you? Try asking both of you to consider these types of questions?

What does rich or wealthy mean to me (and you)? What does it look like?

Would you rather we save money now, to live a more comfortable life in the future? Or, spend more now and deal with the future when we get there?

Are you okay with debt? How much is too much?

Would you rather we invest in something more risky, and potentially earn a great return? Or, stick with something safer?

Discussing both partner’s views on Risks and Fear, Motivation and Desires, Savings and Spending, and Transparency (of each of your money patterns and choices) — are all so important to your marital health.

If you are already married, see if you can have the same open and frank discussions about these questions. It’s never too late to change. Having a good conversation about these topics will help to align us and avoid the money fights which is one of the top causes of divorce.

My goal is to constantly do better in this area myself, and help others do the same!


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